Warning: All of the following information is horribly biased, incorrect and outdated. The person writing obviously had no clue what any of these items are really for or ownes them.
__________________________________________________________________________________________ "You came with nothing, you leave with nothing, what have y'lost? NOTHING!"
is probably what were thinking when they created the rewards system for Dungeoneering. The Life of Brian should never be influential for creating a ruddy giant update to PruneScape, but hey- it's Jagex, right?
Once you've trudged through a fair amount of it, built up some tokens and decided to blow them on something, what should you get? What should you choose? The Knowledge Base ain't gonna help, it's still got mistakes unchanged from the bloody release day of Dungeoneering. (Evidence: Gravite Longsword stats) So here you are.
Gem Bag (2k tokens) - I'll give you three guesses as to what these do. Starting from now.
Coal Bag (4k tokens) - Fine little storage tool for powermining coal and all, but you need at least 4 to make it worthwhile.
Arcane Pulse Necklace (6.5k tokens)- For when you absolutely have to hit 5% higher with magic damage, and can't wait until you've got enough for the one below.
Arcane Blast Necklace (15k tokens)- Over double the price for less than half the overall effect. Bloody scammers.
Arcane Stream Necklace (30k tokens)- Why are they making attempts to make magic more balanced when you ain't gonna take it to where magic is so bloody weak?
Nature Staff (12k tokens)- For when you absolutely and completely oppose doing even the simplest of things with any degree of efficiency.
Law Staff (10k tokens)- It breaks the law for its sheer crapness.
Scroll of Life (10k tokens) - Frankly it's hilarious that you can buy a scroll of something you lack completely in the real world. Also it's more a 'Scroll of plant Guam, let Guam die and hope for Torstol seed back' due to being bugged as shit.
InEfficiency (20k tokens) Released with the Occult floors, Allows you to possibly save a bar when making items that want more than 3 bars to make. ZOMG RUNITE CRASH RUNITE CRASH RUNITE CRASH
Scroll of Renewal (107k tokens) - For when you absolutely and utterly object to spending 600 gp on a monkfish.
Scroll of Augury (153k tokens) - Mage's first time ever of laughing at Range's face - I got a Piety and you don't! Of course, Jagex in their eternal wisdom is giving rangers a new prayer that will probably be the equivalent of a WMD booster pack. So prepare for the day that a thousand rangers go out with dragon bows to kill every fucking mage in sight.
Scroll of Rigour (140k tokens) Range Augury released with the Occult floors, yep Judgement day for mages as come. Hilariously costs 13k tokens less than Augury but is a bit more useful, which proves Jagex hates mages.
Scroll of Cleansing - Released with the Warped Floors, Something else to make Herblore even more expensive. Wait what..
Even MORE expensive...
IS THAT EVEN PHYSICALLY FUCKING POSSABLE!!!!
Gravite Rapier (40k tokens) - Ever wanted to pay 100k an hour to use a rune scimitar? Well now you can!
Gravite Longsword (40k tokens) - Looks so damn good! +63 strength bonus! Can't wait to buy one! Wait, what? +54.5 strength bonus? <- Jagex have learnt how to fucking pwn f2pers.
Gravite 2h Sword (40k tokens) - It's a sword with -4 slash bonus...derp derp.
Gravite Shortbow (40k tokens) - Ever wanted to pay 100k an hour to use a maple shortbow? Well now you can!
Gravite Staff (40k tokens) - For when you absolutely have to pay over the odds for absolutely fucking everything.
Chaotic Rapier (200k tokens)
Chaotic Longsword (200k tokens)
Chaotic Maul (200k tokens)
Chaotic Crossbow (200k tokens)
Chaotic Staff (200k tokens)
Chaotic kiteshield (200k tokens)
Eagle-Eye kiteshield (200k tokens)
Farseer Kiteshield (200k tokens)
Miscellaneous rewards, for when you absolutely have to buy some random junkEdit
Longbow sight (10k tokens)- Maple longbows with the accuracy of a godsword - until you still realise you're not hitting over 180 at battleaxe speed. Doesn't make maple longbows a pking tool and never will. Now wash your hands.
Tome of Frost (48k tokens) - An infinite amount of water runes, would be great for stunning when combined with an earth staff until you realise the idea isn't to actually hit and stun that skeleton north of Edgeville.
Antipoison totem (44k tokens) - Dragonfire shield...immunity to poison...Dragonfire shield...immunity to poison...Oh god...such a tough choice... At first, this was used to discover that the game treats some poison differently than others, and it had to be standardized before it would work on everything. Way to go QA!
Bonecrusher (34k tokens) - Bugged to shit, is a very slow way to train Prayer, but whats the alternative? Blow 150k on an inventory of dragon bones, which won't get you anywhere near to leveling? Life sucks, but hey, so do Runefappers...
Mercernary's gloves (48k (?) tokens) - Filler reward is filler, for when you absoloutely have a blow all your tokens on a pair of Black d'hide vambraces..
Dungeoneering exp (1 token per exp) - Why would you need to blow your tokens on Dungeoneering exp? Is it a sort of race to get to 99?
Oh. I see.
The Dungeoneering 1.75 rewards...well, if you want to call them thatEdit
With the Dungeoneering 1.75 update, it brought several new rewards to try to tear your tokens away from your Chaotic Longsword fund. These are all pretty rubbish, just like the update itself. However, a certain one caused the Pkers to panic BEFORE it was even released. Do they even realise its an inconsequential MMO they're playing? Anyway, here are a few items that you can blow your hard-earned (unless you're one of those level 3 skillers with 99 Dungeoneering, then its easy-leeched) tokens.
Herbicide (34k tokens) Copy-pasted Bonecrusher, this one will blow up any herb you assign it when they are dropped from a monster, but no one gives a shit. Yes because I really want to see my ranarr drops nuked for 20 exp each.
Magical Blastbox (40k tokens) Will hold the runes for any spell thats Fire Blast or lower. Good for f2p'ers, crap for you.
Ring of Vigour (50k tokens) Was feared by jittery children, is it could possibly have
DESTROYED KILLED RUINED PvP completely. However, the only weapon to benefit from this piece of overpriced shit was the Dragon Scimitar, and therefore it was really worth panicking about, wasn't it?
Dungeoneering 2.0 (Warped Floors) RewardsEdit
(Tbh, this section could have been called Fuck FUCK FUUUUUUUCK! and it would have been just as relevant.)
OK, lets be honest here now, no-one actually thought it would turn out THIS bad. But come on now, people expected at least one useful item out of the eight. You think Jagex's standards were low? They just got lower.
Scroll of Cleansing (20k tokens) - What was intended as a way to make Herblore more efficient just became a way to make it more expensive again. Also doesn't work properly, fancy that.
Twisted Bird Skull Necklace (8.5k tokens) - Made for f2pers, and even they don't want it.
Split Dragontooth Necklace (17k tokens) - Will give you back 2 prayer points each time you bury a babydragon bone, although why you're using prayer on them is beyond me.
Sneakerpeeper spawn (85k tokens) - An eyeball monster pet worth 75k tokens more than its novelty value.
Celestial Surgebox (65k tokens) - Will store the runes for any Wave/Surge spell. Fine until you realise you're sinking 65k tokens for the privelige.
Amulet of Zealots (40k tokens) - Doesn't work with Piety. Doesn't work with Rigour. Doesn't work with Augury. Doesn't work with Soul Split. Doesn't work with Turmoil. Somehow, Jagex decided this was TOO POWERFUL, and therefore slapped a -8 prayer penalty onto it. Thanks a fucking lot.
Spirit Cape (45k tokens) - (Stormy doesn't even bother. He just cries.)
Right, we all knew Chaotic armour wasn't happening. Jagex are too afraid of progress for that. But seriously now, what sort of time constraints were they under when they thought of these? Whats more absurd is, that at one point a Chaotic Shortbow were considered to be less useful than these. Jagex also mentioned that they scrapped the Eyes because they weren't good enough - not good enough compared to WHAT? A fucking cape that does NOTHING of use? Who pays these people?
Ideas for Jagex to parcel up and sell as originalEdit
Neutron Bomb (300k tokens)- Ever had problems at rune ore, magic trees etc? Well, this item can help. When you activate this in a resource space, you will be teleported to a safe spot whilst every player in the vicinity is killed and logged out for 24 hours. The resources stay intact and you're free to collect them.
Gravitron (220k tokens)- As any fule kno, coal and diamonds are both made from carbon. All that is necessary is a little help to shift their molecular arrangements. So here's a little device to do just that.
Portable Black Hole (70k tokens)- Everyone runs out of inventory space sometimes. You just need to warp space a little. That's all. This item is also F2P, and thus is useful for getting rid of idiots who want to be your GF.
Logging Kit (AKA Greenpeace's Nightmare) (400k tokens)- Have you ever been to the lush forests of Isafdar? Sickening, isn't it? With this handy kit, you can turn all the trees in the forest into a massive barbecued, desolate wasteland that would make James Cameron drool (See Avatar).
AK-47 (1M tokens)- RuneScape has entered the Age of CoD. It's about time it tried to seriously compete.
Primal Godwhip- Even an AK-47 can't beat this.
Pulsating Rapier/Warhammer/2h sword (400k tokens)- (We regret to inform you that the following reward is being held back by an Occult Masonery consisting of whining Pkers who fear progress)
Chaotic Shortbow (200k tokens) - Fire dragon arrows at the speed of a shortbow? Why would someone want that? Magical Surgebox (80k tokens) - Fuck off...Actualy wait....they did make that...*X Files Theme plays in background*