Unrunescape Wiki

Warning: This article is stupid. Make sure to have Protect from Stupid activated before reading.

Flesh-Spoiler Haasghenahk, the guardian of the lower Occult floors, is from the native Stalker race of great big filthy eyeball monsters. Known to his colleagues as F.S.Ghen, Haasghenahk, or sometimes Flesh S.H, these names are often forgotten in favour of the more informal names used by humans, such as Boing-Boinger Haasghenboing, The Eyeball That Goes Booooooooing, Serious-Occult-Theme-Spoiler Boinger, or sometimes just Boing.

Of course, I'm talking a load of shit. Everyone calls him BOOOOOOOOING because his music track goes BOOOOOOOOOOOOING. BOOOOOOOOING, BOOOOOOOOOOING...BOOOOOOOOING,


BOOOOOOOING. Which goes on for absolutely fucking ages and is just plain silly. And everyone remembers this boss for 2 things. One, for having the stupidest melee attack since Jagex fucked around with the Chaotic Maul (it pops its eyeball out of its fucking socket to hit you with, you can't get more memorable than that) and Two, for being PISS EASY.

Political history

Born in a middle class household in the district of Retina, Flesh-Spoiler was brought up in a distinctly Liberal-leaning environment. Furthermore he was taught, and took an interest in the politics of the upper-rank workings of the military eyeball department and at the age of 340 in Stalker age he attempted to obtain a seat in the houses of the Boggleeye parliament, He secured 73% of the vote due to his strong dossier of political values

Lovely...also notice RS lagging as usual

and was duly granted a permanent seat as of the year 801N9. However after an incident involving a eyeball yob throwing a can of slime at him, he was left with a minor but persistent mental condition that caused him to replace certain words with BOOOOOOING. This issue caused Flesh-Spoiler a large problem during the next debate, in which his condition worked heavily against him and damaged his reputation, until he eventually lost his seat in the year 800001NG and decided to retire from his political career, in favour of what he does today - pop out his eyeball to ineffectively smack adventurers across the face and get his arse handed to him as a result.

Nowadays the term 'Flesh-Spoiler' is used as an infantile joke. Even grown men burst out laughing at the sound of it, and then start drowning out conversation and anything else of remote value with BOOOOOOOOOOOOOING, BOOOOOOOOOOOING. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOING, BOOOOOOOOOOING...BOOOING. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOING. BOOOOOING. BOOOOOOING.

On the downside, it is mildly contagious. Exposure to the word BOOOOOOOING causes you to BOOOOOOOOING the word BOOOOOOOING everywhere, to the BOOOOOING where most readers of this article will think the editor has gone bat-BOOOOOOOOOOING insane and do something else. Hang on...did I just say BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOING? Oh BOOOOING...


See also