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The Giant Mole is well known as one of the most devastating threats to RuneScape, even more than the Spirit Beast, as it devotes its entire life to...digging holes beneath Falador, annoying a few gardeners in the process. Several gardeners have ragequit over the years to due this, in a flurry of "OMFG JAGEX **** U MOLE FAIL I QUIT!!!!1111" Some of them are too addicted to their exhilarating lives of walking around, not actually doing any gardening at all to quit, and instead send down bored adventurers to ruin the Giant Mole for them, which is know as being an easy, quick and rewarding task.

Itself, the Giant Mole has a rather nice life, winning an award back in 2008, just beating Slash Bash the Ourg for the Fattest Arse of the Year award. However it suffers from acute badimation disease, which makes it look like it was created and animated by a bunch of clueless college losers failing their first year in Games Design.

Fighting the Giant Mole[]

The Giant Mole fights similar to the King Black Dragon. It has high defence, laughs at any form of Magic (now where have I seen that happen before?) and even drops almost the same items. Its main attack, consists of 2 frames. One where it lifts up its claw, and another where the claw is right next to your character, so essentially its like raising a stick to the air, moving the stick to the side of someone and saying "I hit you with a stick!". Despite the immense crapness of the attack, it hits up to 212.

At less than half health, the Giant Mole will start doing what moles do, dig. It knows full well its getting its (extremely fat) arse handed to it, and attempts to literally GTFO before it dies, well it doesn't really die, you see it looking into the air for a second, then attempting to merge itself with the ground, which according to the college losers, is 'a giant mole dying'. However, this is where is pisses you off more than the Underground Pass. At this point you see more 0s than Gordon Brown when he asks Yahoo Answers 'How many people have voted for me?'. At this point the Giant Mole starts digging more holes for itself than Nick Griffin when he was on Question Time, and it convieniently chooses to resurface As.Far.Away.From.You.As.Physically.Possible. And as soon as you find it again, you attack it, hit a 0 and FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF...! IT DUG AWAY AGAIN!

But what about the rewards?[]

When you finally kill the Giant Mole, you get its bones, a mole claw and some mole skin, along with maybe some charms and another drop (which is almost always an Adamant longsword). If you're feeling lucky, after going back to Falador, you can trade the claws and skin in for birds nests. So when you do, you hope you get lucky, you might get a magic seed, or a ranarr seed, or at least make some extra money, and at this point you loot them all.

Acorn...worthless...

Tomato seeds...shit...

Gold ring...crap...

Evil turnip seeds...pointless...

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THIS NEST IS EMPTY?

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