You see that thing up there? That bright yellow thing? Just shut your eyes a little if it hurts you. That's the Sun. It's not going to harm you. And all this blue stuff- that's sky. Those are birds tweeting. No, I know they don't sound anything like swords clanging. No- NO! Don't try to attack that guy! He's real, he feels pain! There, good boy. No- don't try to take anything from his pocket either. Thieving here carries some steep penalties. Now you see this? This is a tuna... Go on, taste it. Isn't that good? Yeah, much better than looking on it at a screen, isn't it? And these people, all around us- notice their words are coming out of their mouths and not above their heads? Those are voices you hear- don't be scared. Hey, you see her? She's a real girl. Go on, talk to her. Welcome to the real world, kid.

Real LifeReal Life
Designer Very much debated; could be an accident of nature.
Genre Some sort of universe- 2000 years of philosophy and we haven't worked this out yet.
Version Unknown- could be infinite.
ESRB Rating For everyone- human or otherwise.
Number of Players 7 billion humans and rising; trillions of other life forms.
Addiction Rate Very, very few people quit of their own volition, but everyone does eventually.
System Requirements The fertilisation and development of an egg cell, consciousness, a working mind (some exceptions ).
Inputs Health, enthusiasm, happiness.


Many people have praised the gameplay of Real Life. There is a very detailed character customization interface, the A.I of NPCs is unrivaled throughout the MMORPG universe, and the graphics are very well received. All graphics are based on a 3-D even 4-D texture, with infinite amount of layers within. Glasses aren't even required.

The main criticism is of the combat engine. Players are very weak defensively, and are extremely susceptible to poison, disease or lethal damage. People have complained that in PvM or PvP, it is easily possible to do an attack which will wipe out players in a single hit.

The transportation systems are known to be efficient, however they have occasional troubles, and are very expensive. There are a huge amount of minigames in Real Life, and the economy is complex, if somewhat unstable.


  • Social Skills - This skill might be a bit of a shock for most RuneScapers.
  • Cooking- Leave it to the females.
  • Crafting-Also leave it to the females.
  • Strength- Most commonly trained skill.'
  • Hitpoints- Pretty low.
  • Agility- No matter how little you train, you stay at level 99.
  • Construction- Still a useless skill, unless you live in year 5 Billion B.C. to 1800 A.D.
  • Ranged- You can train this skill in various minigames with many modern weapons. Also, it is superior to melee. In fact, some people consider it to be overpowered.
  • Driving - females are known to train their Driving skill slower than males.
  • Mechanics- Males are known to train this skill very often, however, it is a medium of attraction for other males.
  • Intelligence - Females are known to train this at a higher pace later on.
  • Fapping - Only a male skill. Just imagine Zilyana.

Frequently Asked QuestionsEdit

What kinds of skills are there in Real Life?

Real Life features all of RuneScape's skills (except Magic and Runecrafting) as well as more, some of which include the Social Skills, Literacy, Oral Communication and even a Politics Skill.

How do I create a new account?

You have to wait for a male account and female account to... Well, more on that later. If you're lucky, after 9 months, they might pick your username.

What kind of monsters are there to kill in Real Life?

Monsters? Oh right, there's a bunch of nasty dictators that you should definitely kill and if you're up for a challenge, you could try killing the Jonas Brothers for a chance at getting their degradable clothing. Additionally, if you try to take out Justin Bieber, you could become a hero.

What are the rules of Real Life?

These change depending on where you are on the world map. Some places allow you quite a bit of freedom, others will have you executed if you don't worship a talking pie.

How do I make money in Real Life?

Usually what players do is they get some sort of job. Others try to invest in the market and some make their money by scamming others.

Is RWT allowed in Real Life?

Not only is it allowed, it's encouraged.

If I die in Real Life, how many items do I get to keep?

Oh, you have more to worry about than just items. If you die in Real Life, you won't respawn (and even if you're some sort of god, respawning will still take at least 3 days).

Can I make friends in Real Life?

Yes, making friends will become easier when you have higher levels in the social skills.

What are the NPCs like?

In Real Life, there are few, if any, NPCs (unless you're some sort of solipsist, in which case everyone but you is an NPC).

Is there PVP?

Yes, but there is no combat triangle. Ranging has horribly overpowered weapons that can kill you in one hit and Magic is non-existent, although there are some weapons that wouldn't classify as melee or ranged and work on something called "Radiation". Player-killing is usually against the rules unless you're in some sort of war. On the plus side, you get to keep all the drops most of the time! The entire map is multi-combat, so be careful of backstabbers and teenage 'clans'.

How many worlds are there?

As far as we know, there is only one world, and even if there are more, world-hopping is nearly impossible. Unless you're willing to experiment and possibly turn into a cloud of radioactive dust.

Is Real Life updated weekly?

Real Life is updated even more often than that but most of the updates seem to have been carried out by Players. You have a voice. Use it.

Who owns Real Life?

Either a flying spaghetti monster, Chuck Norris, or a black ball known as Gantz

Are there Minigames in Real Life?

Yes, in fact, RuneScape could be considered one of Real Life's many minigames.

What is the point of Real Life?

The point of Real Life is the same as the point of RuneScape, get more accounts created and make money.

How do I access the High Scores for Real Life?

Go to your local library and read some boring history books or something called the Guiness Book of World Records.

If I break a rule, what happens?

You will either be banned (temporarily or permanently) or you might have to RWT your way out.

What happens when I'm banned from Real Life?

Different places have different policies. In some places, a permanent ban results in your character being killed. In others, you are forced to sit in a boring cell, isolated from the rest of the community, much like the black hole.

And what happens if I get into the black hole?

You're pretty screwed.

How do I become a Moderator in Real Life?

See either Policing Skill or Politics Skill.

There's a bug in Real Life! What should I do?

Step on it.

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