Revenant icefiend

A revernant icefiend after seeing a tasty looking pure at green dragons

During the God Wars, many creatures that fought in it got killed off entirely. Which was bloody stupid of them, no one asked a werewolf to throw himself into a pile of spiritual Saradomin warriors and mages (Go to the entrance of Saradomin's Encampment in the God Wars Dungeon if you need evidence). Because they put up such a shit fight, they died more pissed than Amy Winehouse in a vodka factory. Therefore, to this day, they spend their time wandering around the Wilderness, their ruined homeland, brutally� attacking anyone who...conforms to a series of simple calcuations. They sounded scary until that point didn't they?

List of RevenantsEdit

Variety is the spice of life. Having the same fucking Revenant attacking you would get incredibly boring (but not so boring that you'd log off and play a better game), so there are a pile of them.

  • Revenant Imp- This is so incredibly weak that it only ever attacks the complete and utter newbs who enter the Wilderness out of sheer cluelessness. They come in threes, but you can wipe it out with a bunch of flowers.
  • Revenant Goblin - these come in 4 level varieties, I guess some were better than others.
  • Revenant Icefiend - which have lower defence than Gordon Brown during a debate.
  • Revenant Pyrefiend - Everyone's favorite pointless slayer monster comes back in ghost form.
  • Revenant Hobgoblin - AKA Revenant Paedo. Don't believe me? Look at it.
  • Revenant Vampire - A modern-day banker who killed himself during the recession turned bitter.
  • Revenant Werewolf - A celebrity among Revenants, it's well known for killing the cannon pricks that flood Green Dragons nowadays.
  • Revenant Cyclops - Previously, aggressive one-eyed men were limited to Number 10 Downing street.
  • Revenant Hellhound - Plenty of bones in the Wilderness for it.
  • Revenant Demon - a bloody lie, there's no Lesser demons in the God Wars Dungeon.
  • Revenant Ork - A Revenant Werewolf with a bit more combat experience
  • Revenant Dark Beast - Unlike the rest of its body, the horn is solid, good for anally raping you. (LOLZ RULE 34)
  • Revenant Knight - You don't fuck with these. Ever.
  • Revenant Dragon - Two heads are better than one. Also capable of sending your dumb ass to Kingdom Come in about 5 seconds.

What Revenants do apart from being angry and variedEdit

Revenants were designed to replace Pkers after Jagex blew the sh*t out of old Wilderness. They hit as high as Pkers (well, the Revenant Werewolf and below do), vary combat styles to defeat Prayer and exploit armour weaknesses, and also heal at the speed of the World 44 server at Soul Wars. However, after that, Jagex made a shit job of replicating Pkers. (Its Jagex, what do you expect?)

The Revenants drop table consists of coins, nothing, coins, coins, nothing, nothing, nothing, coins, nothing and coins. Which is far better than what you would get from a Pker isn't it? Furthermore, they've been taking lessons from the average World 18er, and JUST as you are about to kill one, it simply disappears, just to piss you off. No teleport animation, no reappearing somewhere else, it just goes Bye-Bye and leaves you to cry in the Wilderness... Until you realise you're at 17 hp, in level 53 Wilderness, another yellow dot appears on the minimap and... LOLURDEADED.